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This person knew I was a sex worker. It says so, right within my Bumble profile: retired media whore, current actual whore. He’d even commented onto it, using the words every woman longs to hear from a romantic interest:’Haha, nice 😉 ‘. And yet I watched as his face contorted in to an expression of disgust, his upper lip curling as the fact of my profession came crashing down around him such as for instance a tonne of bricks.
“That is clearly a lot,” he said, and he then rolled onto his back and stared at the ceiling. I didn’t hear from him again.
It often surprises people to listen to that sex workers do a number of normal people activities, like working other jobs, studying, taking the bins out. We exist in real life after our shifts end and the red light is flicked off; we have dinner with your families and נערות ליווי shop at K-Mart and wait on hold with your internet service providers for what feels like hours.
It’s not common that the physical and emotional experiences we’ve at the job would be enough to make up for a potential lack of intimate connection within our lives outside of work; so most of us also date, with varied levels of success.
A few months ago, I ended a connection with a man I have been seeing for pretty much two years. In private, he was a massive supporter of me working, but around his colleagues and friends his tune seemed to change. He would introduce me, but hesitate in describing our relationship; when he explained, “This is Kate…” the silence that hung in the space where, “…my girlfriend,” should have now been weighed a tonne.
I don’t genuinely believe that he personally had a problem with me being fully a sex worker, but I actually do think that the likelihood of others judging me – and then judging him for being with me – was enough to create him want to help keep me a secret.
So I’ve recently downloaded some dating apps and put myself back on the proverbial market, but it’s tough. Along with all the usual questions one ponders before a romantic date (What do I wear? Where shall we go?) I find myself asking things like, “At what point do we have the talk?”
The talk in which I clarify my job, re-explain my profession just in case my date didn’t read my Bumble bio, forgot what it said, or – worse – thought it was a joke. Do I tell him as soon as we meet, or before we say goodnight? Or נערת ליווי do I throw it out randomly on the course of the evening: “Wow, this wine is delicious. In addition, I’m a hooker. Pass the salt?”
The best dream scenario is that my date is supportive, and happy that I’ve found a line of work that I like and supports me financially. Unfortunately, this has only happened once – once! – so these days, I find that most responses fall somewhere between abject fascination and outright objectification.
Sometimes I end up on the receiving end of a lot of rapid-fire questions (“What’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever done at the job? Perhaps you have had a celebrity client? Are the guys all old and ugly? They’re not, like, normal guys like me, are they?”) which surpasses horrified silence, but leaves me feeling like I’ve just been interviewed for an hour.
Other times, my date can barely contain their disgust, quizzing me over and once more about how frequently I get my sexual health checks done and if I’m sure I’m not a carrier of some mutant strain of gonorrhoea.
“That’s all well and good,” one man said, over coffee, “But obviously in the event that you went out with me, you’d have to get a real job. And you couldn’t tell anyone we know that you used to work.” You need to probably Google me before you receive too attached to that idea, I desired to sneer.
Here’s more information in regards to נערות ליווי stop by our own website. Obviously, even the crudest line of questioning is really a better case scenario than the very real threat of violence that many sex workers face when speaking about their job. I have friends who’ve been followed home and stalked by men who couldn’t understand just why their date with a sex worker didn’t end with a romp, and others who have had partners show up at their work in a spontaneous fit of jealousy, viciously demanding they empty their locker and return home together immediately.
And even that’s better than the likelihood of physical violence from a romantic partner. I once continued a date with a person who invited me around his bedroom, held me down as he initiated sex with no condom, and then read among my own personal articles, about sex work, aloud to me as I lay silently next to him.
Dating isn’t simple for anyone. Even the act of having to distil your complete person into a short and snappy paragraph fit for a dating app is enough to produce anyone desire to provide their hands and surrender to a life of solitude.
Still, נערות ליווי I rely on love, and I know from past experiences that relationships – when they’re good – are worth every struggle.
On the days when it’s all an excessive amount of, I find myself thankful for the straightforward, stress-free nature of transactional sex. One hour on the clock and a peck on the cheek to express a fond goodbye until next time: if only finding love was as simple.